Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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