ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
