when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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