There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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