also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
