forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
