Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
