I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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