just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
