never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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