Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
