quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
where are my eyebrows?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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