Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
