Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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