I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
