Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
