conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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