New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize