I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
