Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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