Just mADE A PArabola og urine
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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