My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
