yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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