The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
