thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
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There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
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If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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