love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
