This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize