She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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