This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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