Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
