hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
