When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
