that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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