This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
