So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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