just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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