I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
