The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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