My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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