Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You were trust falling into bushes
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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