so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
All I want is dick and wine.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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