I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
