today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
