I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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