You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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