Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
