do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
