i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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