Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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