Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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