thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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