My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
