I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
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dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Green mimosas i think yes
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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