I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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