Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
