She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
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She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
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Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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