"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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