hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Randomize
