he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
