i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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