I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I could fuck to npr.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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